When you expect external validation for everything that you do and believe that your happiness is dependent on the praise from others, you will never feel fulfilled. We spend so much time waiting for the recognition that will never arrive! You need to give that to yourself. Celebrate your wins, congratulate yourself for things that you do well, or things that you achieved. It’s those small moments of feeling proud and grateful, that will motivate you to keep going.

How do compliments help in keeping us motivated?

We keep waiting for external recognition to validate our worthiness. It’s human to need the approval of your “tribe”. Receiving compliment extracts feel-good hormone dopamin. We extract the same hormone in meditation, falling in love, and when eating a cupcake. That hormonal rush, or high, that we get, is designed to keep us motivated with what we’re doing. Basically, our brain needs to know when it’s doing something right, so that it knows it should keep on doing that. When we receive a compliment, it encourages us to repeat the same behavior.

Why am I not getting the compliment I’m waiting for?

You have been waiting to receive a compliment or recognition for the longest time from a person. It can feel so frustrating because you know you’ve done well and you’ve made them proud, but you’re still waiting for those words: “You did amazing. I’m so proud of you.”

Here’s a new angle to that thought which might help you. According to Psychologist Vanessa Bohns, in an article by Morale-app, there is an actual block in our human mind for doing that.” Self-doubt interferes with compliments-giving.” It can actually be that someone is looking at you and wants to compliment you but is not able to turn their kind thoughts into words.

So remember, that if you don’t get a compliment from someone, it doesn’t mean that they don’t appreciate you. They just lack the skill to communicate it.

Another reason why compliments that we deserve don’t reach us, she adds, is that we underestimate the impact a positive message can have on someone’s day. It might be that they feel uncomfortable, and don’t want you to feel uncomfortable too.

You can try to find other positive signals from them. Are they asking you to repeat what you did? Are they smiling? Are they speaking nicely about you to other people?

Finally, it must be said, that not everyone needs to like you. That is a fact that we must accept. Sometimes, we just need to do our thing, and stop waiting for anyone to praise us. And this is where today’s practice comes in.

You can learn to praise yourself instead.

It’s all about recognizing those small and subtle steps you take forward

Celebrating our successes is the best way to keep us motivated. Giving ourselves that small dopamin hit after given effort, will reward our behavior and we’re more motivated to repeat that. What we tend to forget, and what is not always even seen as socially acceptable, is that we totally can and should celebrate our own wins ourselves.

If you’re still lacking a self-complementing, small-wins celebrating habit, then now it’s the time to learn this new habit. Stop waiting for external recognition, and celebrate your success in your own best company.

I want you to hear one thing right now. Remember, that the reason for complimenting yourself can be subtle. Often, our greatest steps forward in life, happen within us on an emotional or behavioral level, and that change, might not be visible to others yet. Still, you absolutely CAN and should celebrate.

We tend to wait for those big goals to come true before we take time to rest and celebrate. Listen, reaching a big 3-year goal is great, but you will not feel any different after reaching that point. What really matters, is the journey to your goal. Praising yourself along the way, will keep you “in love” with what you’re doing and that gives you energy to continue.

There are thousands of small tasks, steps, and learnings that must take place before the tip of the iceberg is reached. You should learn to acknowledge all of those efforts that you take along the journey.

Celebrating with a cake a champagne – why not?

• Writing a diploma with your name, printing it out, and having a ceremony when you’re handing it over to yourself.
• Write yourself a bonus check or a pay rise as a recognition for your focus and effort in a specific project and use it for something to boost your self-esteem.
• You can bake a cake or go to a bakery to get a fancy piece of cake, and have it with a glass of champagne as you’re looking into the progress you’ve done.
• Take yourself and a friend to a restaurant, dress up, and tell them: Today we’re celebrating one more work week accomplished, and we’ll acknowledge the hard work that we’ve put in.

It can feel silly, awkward, or even difficult to do this in beginning, because we’re so conditioned into thinking that celebration and compliments should always come from someone else. Whatever is your preferred way of celebrating, incorporate below positive affirmations in your celebration. That way, you are becoming aware and conscious of your effort.

I am proud of my work and I recognize it. Everything that I do, small or big steps that I take, are getting me closer to my best life. I celebrate my wins along the way, because I deserve to enjoy life while pursuing my goals. I generate positive energy that is contagious.

Compliment yourself.

Acknowledge the work that you’ve done, praise your behavior, and celebrate your small wins. Then go, and go that to others. It will have a tremendous impact.

It is vital that we learn to celebrate our successes and recognize even the small, subtle steps that we take to live our best life. We can learn to give the praise to ourselves instead of waiting for it from someone else. With thar encouraging energy, we can create an environment of success, which will also motivate others around us.

Reference:

Moraleapp-blog